The Power of Nonviolent Communication

If you've ever come to a coach looking for strategies for having crucial conversations, you're not alone. This is a common topic in our work with mid-level leaders. One of my favorite tools for helping leaders prepare for and conduct effective conversations is  Nonviolent Communication (NVC). We like this tool because it helps you shift to a more productive mindset and see what you may be missing before you even have the conversation.  

1. It helps deescalate conflict. 

By focusing on facts rather than interpretations, conversations stay grounded and less dramatic. If a coaching client shares, "He is always undermining me in meetings,” we explore her thinking to focus on what actually happened and how it felt: "he interrupted me twice during the presentation, which was frustrating." It shifts the conversation from blaming to the client’s actual experience of the situation.  Not only will this be easier for the other person to hear, it’s a more accurate description of reality.  

2. It builds trust and safety

When the important people in your life, whether it’s a teammate or family member, feel heard and understood—when their needs are acknowledged even if they can't all be met—they're more likely to trust you.  Leaders who practice NVC create environments where others feel safe to share what’s bothering them. 

3. It helps you lead from your best self, rather than your conditioned responses

We all have moments when we react from past experiences rather than present reality. NVC gives you a framework to pause, identify you need, and respond in alignment with who you want to be as a leader (and as a person). Whether you're giving feedback to an underperforming employee or navigating a disagreement with your spouse, you will be more likely to make conscious choices rather than being hijacked by emotional reactions.

Next time I’ll share four skills you can develop to maximize NVC communication.